Well - when you get your girlfriend pregnant and you're actually in love with her, there's really only one thing left to do.
So on Friday, December 10th 1993 I found out I was going to be a dad. As it was somewhat customary (because I honestly didn't really enjoy it), we would leave our humble apartment and head to Lar and Jan's (my parents) who at the time lived at 974 South Old 3C, Sunbury, Ohio on a Sunday afternoon - because that's what was convenient for them.
So on Sunday, December 12th, 1993 I packed my pregnant girlfriend into the car and hit the road to spread the news they were going to be grandparents. On the surface, I'm sure when something like that comes from out of the blue, like it did for me, it can be somewhat of a shock.
You would be wise to revisit my entry for When Your Heart Stops Beating.
Let's just say:
A) It's was nothing like the movies or T.V. have usually portrayed it
B) The reaction of my parents was the exact opposite of what I was expecting
C) The over-reaction of my older sister in Cleveland was out of left field
So let's break all of that down.
So of course, Shannon and I were nervous. I mean fuck - we were nervous enough for ourselves let alone all the drama that we knew was about to unfurl.
So we get to Lar and Jan's and here's what I recall:
Lar - who I thought would take it in stride, congratulate us and start looking for cigars to hand out because his only son was going to have his first grandchild literally said nothing, got out of his chair and walked out the back door.
What. The Actual. Fuck?
So I looked at Jan and Shannon, got up and followed him outside. At this point, I'm going to plagiarize myself from my perspective entry:
The moronic hooligan from 1992!
The guy who never wore socks. Year round. In Ohio.
The guy who had Bass Boat shoes with holes in them. And wore them obsessively. Without socks.
The guy who still pegged his pants. In the 90’s.
The guy who shunned luxuries like bed-frames and slept with his mattress on the floor. In the dining room. While a non-rent paying friend stayed in what should have been my bedroom.
I will also add that I also usually wore either a Florida State Seminoles or Miami Hurricanes hat backwards.
So all that adds up to exactly the conversation my dad had with me. That I was young, immature and nowhere ready to be a dad. Looking back now, and even previously reflecting, I can understand his concern - because it was all surface level.
But my parents and I never had a close relationship. He didn't know how seriously I took my job. He didn't know that since I had left OSU, I knew if I wanted to make it in the world, I had to apply myself at work.
Jan - Billy Graham employee Jan - who I expected the hell and damnation speech from because we conceived out of wedlock was overjoyed and immediately congratulated us and hugged Shannon. But don't think she didn't strongly suggest / demand that we immediately go to the justice of the peace and get married. All so her Christian reputation would be protected.
What. The Actual. Fuck? Again. I was deep inside the fucking twilight zone at this point. I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
My younger sister Dina was still living with them, so she was their as well. IIRC, she was super excited for us. I actually think when we got there, she was there alone and heard the news first.
Of course my mom said "you need to call Terri and let her know". So I did. What a shit-show that was.
I called my older sister in Cleveland and told her - and she immediately went into hysterics - and not the celebratory kind. It was so bad, I couldn't understand a word she was saying. So I give my mom the phone and my mom proceeds to spend who knows how long trying to calm her sorry ass down instead of celebrating with us. All because she was the older one and wanted to have the first grandchild.
By this point, I was over all this bullshit. I told Shannon we're leaving and off we went.
So now I need to circle back to the very first sentence of this entry: Well - when you get your girlfriend pregnant and you're actually in love with her, there's really only one thing left to do.
Propose.
So there at Sharon Woods, on the edge of Shrock Lake, I got down on one knee without a ring with this song playing and proposed.
From there, we went home and got ready because it was also the night of the Lbrands Christmas party. What a turnaround from the beginning of the day. By the time we got there, word had already spread to both our coworkers that Shannon was expecting. Then they found out we were getting married and couldn't be happier. You have to understand that back then, the DC1 Express and DC3 Bath & Body Works teams were pretty small, and the majority of BBW people came from Express - so everyone knew each other and it was a pretty tight knit little work family. It was a great way to end an otherwise shitty day.
But the day wasn't over yet.
So we finish partying and head home on a pretty high high. We get settled in for the evening and what should happen? There's a knock at the door.
I open it up and there stands my older sister. Who drove down from Cleveland. To tell me I'm not ready. That we're not ready. That we need to really think this through.
To quote The Toll - "Oh my god, I'm getting awfully mad!"
I can't really recall anything else because even today, the rage at this memory is intense. But this series of events brought Shannon and I closer together and solidified our "fuck everyone else" and "we'll show them" attitude.
Us against the world, indeed.
My religious younger sister - on her 3rd husband.
My religious older sister - divorced.
My atheist ass - married 30+ years.
Shannon’s Perspective:
"Somehow I must believe, you need me too
You dream me too summer love
Cause I will be unchained
When true love surrounds me
I will be unchained
When true love I see in your eyes"
This day is simultaneously one of the best and one of the worst days of my life. The best because this is the day Larry proposed to me. We had known each other for 15 months been dating for 13 of those and officially living together for a mere 3 months at this time. But we were deeply in love with each other and knew we would get married and have kids....someday. Turns out someday was sooner rather than later. We were ok with that, it's not how we would have planned it, but sometimes the greatest gifts in life are the ones that catch you by surprise. Afterall I wasn't looking for anyone when I found Larry.
The bad stems from Larry's families reaction to the news. To be clear this was all about how hurt he was and in turn how hurt and angry I felt for him.
In that moment and in similar moments since then my heart broke for Larry. I think he was hoping for a much different reaction. I know I was. I know he has processed it and moved on long ago but as me and my BFF Kim’s song says, “Like the knife that cuts you the wound heals but the scar, that scar remains”.
While that part of the day was pretty much ruined, if I’m being honest, things did get better. On our way home we stopped at Sharon Woods Park in Westerville to chat and regroup, or so I thought. While there Larry made me get out of the vehicle in the cold, so he could get down on one knee with tears in his eyes and ask me to marry him. I’m pretty sure I told him I had to think about it, JK I said yes before he could finish. We then went back to our apartment to get ready for the work Christmas party. That was a good night! My friend Tracy had already been telling people we were having a baby and we got to tell everyone we were getting married. After the morning we had, it was nice to be surrounded by people who were happy for us and shared in our joy. Too bad the day did not end there.
On the other side of things, when I called to tell my grandmother she was happy I was having a baby but wanted to make sure I knew having one did not mean I had to get married. Once she was assured that it was love and wasn’t just because I was pregnant, she could not have been more thrilled for us.
Is It Love
Jon & Vangelis
Is it love, is it love
Is it love that I think I'm after?
Is the moment so expressive in my heart
To believe I could be with you?
Treasure this, treasure this
Is it everything you hoped it would be?
In your soul, in a job, at the firelight
Could be life in a heart of stone
Is it love, is it love
Is this love that I think I'm feeling?
Hold me in your arms, lie by my side
Let me be inside of you
Let me go, let me fly, let me love you
Let me go, let me fly, let me love you
Somehow I must believe, you need me too
You dream me too summer love
Cause I will be unchained
When true love surrounds me
I will be unchained
When true love I see in your eyes
Yes, I will be unchained
When true love I see in your eyes
Tell me I'm a fool, I would know how to believe it. (eyes)
All the words you say enfold me, touch me, but
Somehow there's more to being this love
It's a game of give and take
Call it love, (give and take)
Call it love, (give and take)
Is it love that I think I'm after?
It's the world that inspires my every move
A world so much to do with you
Tell me now, I'm alive
So alive that I need to show it
Gather round me, come to me, the firelight
Come to me, wait by my side
I will be unchained
When true love surrounds me
I will be unchained
When true love I see in your eyes...
30th Anniversary
Our Story - Shannon's Perspective
Our Story - Larry's Perspective
Ghost of a Chance (Rush) and why?
Ghost of a Chance 