“We gotta make a decision,
We leave tonight or live an' die this way.”
Even though this song was originally released in 1988 it wasn’t until 1996 that this song was etched into my memory permanently. In October of that year my grandmother Rhodes fell ill and was taken to the hospital, she never left and she was days shy of her 80th birthday. She was not alone and was able to have her 3 daughters at her side when she passed. Me and two of my cousins had also been with her just a few hours before. The hospital was a few hours south of Columbus, Ohio which is where one of my cousins and I lived. Since my cousin’s husband and her two small children were already coming to pick up my cousin it just made more sense for me to ride back to Columbus with the four of them. Instead of Larry and the boys, who would have only been 1 and 2 at the time, to also make the trip. On that ride back the CD with this song on it was playing because my cousin’s oldest child, who was 3 at the time, was obsessed with this song. I have not been able to listen to this song since then without thinking of my grandmother’s passing but I also think about my cousin and her daughter.
Then in 2023 the song was re-released by Luke Combs and so it was all over the airwaves and again it made me think of my grandmother, my cousin and her daughter. I even have it on my current Ketamine playlist. Unfortunately, my cousin and her daughter had fallen into a difficult situation after my cousin and her husband split up. They had been living together and had developed a co-dependent relationship fueled with alcohol, my cousin passed away in January 2024 due to complications from her alcoholism and since then I can’t stop thinking about this part of the song:
“See, my old man's got a problem,
He live with the bottle, that's the way it is
He say his body's too old for workin',
I say his body's too young to look like his,
My mama went off and left him,
She wanted more from life than he could give,
I said, somebody's got to take care of him,
So I quit school, and that's what I did.”
It seems so eerily true to their situation, except the father left in their story and the daughter stayed to take care of the mother. I can only hope that my cousin’s daughter can find a way to not end up like her mother.
P.S. My grandmother’s death was when I believe I was able to truly start to grieve for my father as well. Being graveside for her while being able to see my father’s headstone was more than I could bear in the moment. My father had passed away 6 weeks before my mother even gave birth to me so while his death had always been a part of my life I never really grieved or felt the loss until my grandmother, my link to him, was gone.
P.P.S. As a way to make these Dark Days write-ups a little easier on the author (me) I will try to end each one with a story that comes to me during the write-up that makes me smile or laugh. For this one it is when Larry and I got the first call that my grandmother was in the hospital, at this point we knew it wasn’t good but had no idea just how bad it was, so we were in a bit of a hurry to get the 2 hours south to the hospital. Larry was speeding quite a bit so we were not surprised when we got pulled over before making it to the hospital. The cop could tell I was upset when he got to the car so asked Larry what was going on. Larry explained about my grandmother, so the cop went back to his car, made a call and confirmed our story was true. Not only did he NOT give us a ticket but he felt bad about holding us up and gave a full police escort, read light and sirens, the rest of the way to the hospital. His kindness will never be forgotten, it’s because of that escort we made it and I was able to spend some time with my grandmother before she completely lost lucidity.
Larry’s Perspective:
I know this song has seen a recent resurgence due to another artist, but this has been in our rotation since the original was released. I'll be honest and share I did not give this song enough credit when it first came out.
But as years went by and I matured a little, when it would randomly play I really stopped to think about the story it told. And how no matter what you do to better yourself or your situation, there are always external factors that influence the course you've charted. Sometimes it feels like hit after hit after hit; that you'll never "get ahead" or feel like you're winning.
As I think about this song today, and think about our situation, it's honestly a little tough.
I said, somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did
In our scenario - we put our retirement plans on hold, I got a second job to help with medical expenses and I am trying to take care of Shannon as best I can. So our version might sound like:
I said, somebody's got to take care of her
So I got a second job and that's what I did
I never, and still don't, interpret those lyrics as something of a burden. It's just a matter of fact statement that something needed to happen, so you just knuckle down and make it happen for the ones you love.
The reason I said it was tough is because I know how Shannon will react to what I've written. I know she is coming around to understanding me in this situation, but I know she feels like she's a burden and I am making too many sacrifices...but it's no sacrifice at all...
30th Anniversary
Our Story - Shannon's Perspective
Our Story - Larry's Perspective
Ghost of a Chance (Rush) and why?
Ghost of a Chance 