“How could you just leave me standing alone in world that’s so cold.”
There are several very important events that happened in my life on this date…
April 21, 2019: The day that a 47-year-old me lived alone for the very first time EVER. It was a very emotional time for me. I was the one moving out of the house in Ohio, not my college aged kids. I was the one moving back to my hometown, after being gone almost 30 years. Larry was not moving with me and at the time we weren’t sure how long it would be until he moved as well, at one point we were thinking up to two years. I’m not even gonna lie, I was so scared but in the end, it was worth it and I learned so much about myself. It also was the first time in almost 25 years I had no one to take care of but myself, no kids, no dog and yes even no husband. So, there was an upside.
“This is what it sounds like when the doves cry.”
April 21, 2016: My brothers and I had a sibling’s trip planned, a long weekend at a cabin in the mountains. This would be the first time in almost 19 years the four of us were all going to be in the same place at the same time. We had been planning this for several months. At the time Eli and Levi were both still living in Denver, so I flew in from Columbus and Levi picked me up from the airport. I had a really early direct flight, so we decided to go have breakfast. We had barely ordered when my phone started blowing up with text messages. The first was from Larry, he knew I would be busy enjoying myself and not really paying attention to the news and he wanted to be the one to tell me. Prince had died. In that moment I knew I had to compartmentalize my feelings so I could enjoy the time with my brothers but that was a huge blow, after all I had loved Prince since I was 12 years old.
I am very proud to say I was able to set aside my grief for the weekend and just enjoy the time with my brothers. We had an amazing time even though a major storm system had gone through the week prior dropping up to 3 feet of snow in some parts of the Rockies. It was so fun to just be goofy, hang out and catch up. We still laugh about that trip.
Getting back home to Ohio the reality of Prince being gone started to set in. It’s amazing to me how we get attached to people we don’t know personally and how much we grieve these same people when they die, but they become a part of our lives along with everything else we experience. They also become a part of our identity. All the people who texted me, texted because they knew me as “the girl who loved Prince more than anyone else they knew” (with one exception because she loved Prince just as much as I did). Some of them I hadn’t talked to in a very long time but as soon as they heard the news, I was the one they thought of.
Unfortunately, now I know what it sounds like when the doves cry.
P.S. Thanks to my daughter-in-law, I will always have a Little "Pop" Prince in my life.
P.P.S. Today I'm a 10, but normally I'm a 4.
Larry’s Perspective:
Normally I would yield my time, but not on this occasion.
We had already bought our house in Saint Francis in 2016 knowing one day we would leave Ohio behind. But things happened extremely fast in 2019 that accelerated those plans - so we had to make a tough decision. Shannon accepted her job in Saint, turned in her two weeks and we got her ready to move.
I admit I was sensitive to the separation situation - but not sensitive enough. I had a million things on my mind - kicking my sons out of the house; painting the house; various fixes to the house; new carpeting; listing the house - on top of managing finances in two states, taking care of Nina (Akita), still working - and finally, just being a dude. We all know how emotional dudes are and how in tune with everyone else they can be (remember, this is "Release The Sarcasm!" month).
But on top of all of this was the fact I knew Shannon could handle it. She is one, tough son-of-a-bitch.
Prince was a musicians musician. It sill amazes me all of the composing, various instrument playing (basically every instrument known to man), lyric writing and the list goes on an on.
You don't have to be a music person to understand Shannon's thoughts. You just have to have been inspired by someone, anyone, that has influenced you greatly in your life. And when you spend your life with someone being woven into your tapestry, it hurts when they're gone.
I am fortunate to be the one that was able to tell Shannon about his passing. I hated to ruin one of the most important reunions she has ever had, but I couldn't not tell her. I knew, more than anyone, what he meant to her...
Ghost of a Chance 