If you or someone you know is in crisis Call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988). The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call 911 in life-threatening situations.
“I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down. If I just let go, I’d be set free.”
For me, as someone who suffers from mental health issues, this song just lays it all out there. From the first line, “I don’t like my mind right now”, to later in the song, “It’s not like I make the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy”, it’s all perfect. The reason it’s so perfect is because the songwriter Chester Bennington also had demons he was fighting, unfortunately he lost his battle. I work really hard to continue fighting my battles and I am slowly learning how to let go of what’s bringing me down.
There is one video in particular that resurfaced after Chester died in which he talks about depression and what it was like for him. I have never had anyone else explain it in a way that so closely resembled what it’s like for me. The video is about 5 minutes long, but it is worth the watch. In it he talks about being in his own head and how it’s a bad neighborhood, how he is not very nice to himself. I’m sure everyone can relate at least somewhat to not being nice to themselves. Hopefully not many can relate to the idea that spending time alone in your own head can be a very dangerous place; unfortunately, I relate to that more than any person should.
I know Larry has taken on more than he could have ever imagined with me and he is the reason I have the strength to keep holding on.
Larry’s Perspective:
Back when Linkin Park was at the height of popularity, I knew all of their songs. But for whatever reasons I drifted away, so I was not familiar with this song until tonight. Shannon kept a pulse on them over the years.
Something you can't really do with a new song while dancing is listen/read the lyrics. So while Shannon is typing away I had to look them up.
Well now I'm depressed. So much going on that pertains to Shannon personally - her situations growing up, the tragedies in her life, her current medical issues. Any one of which can and does drive isolation. And knowing that Chester committed suicide, it's hard to swallow this song. One minute he's having a happy celebration with his family and the next he's gone.
I'd like to say there is no cause for alarm for Shannon - but unless you have an affliction where everyone sees you as "healthy and normal" - you, and even I, can only scratch the surface doing our best trying to understand how that person is truly feeling.
The reason I say there is no cause for alarm is because Shannon and I have been best friends for 30+ years. And we choose to have the difficult conversations that you have to have to keep a relationship going.
And to me, this song is just another conversation starter...
Rest In Peace, Chester Bennington: 3/20/76 - 7/20/17
Ghost of a Chance 