Shannon’s Perspective:

“Have you ever felt a pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse?”

I wish, like the song, I could say no but that has not been my path in life.  It has been over 27 years since losing my brother Shane, by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through, and even after all these years if I think about it for too long, I still feel a pain so powerful, so heavy.  Moving back to Saint Francis, the last place Shane and I lived together, has had its pros and cons.  And for those who don’t know, the house Larry and I bought in Saint is quite literally across the street and 2 doors down from the house Shane and I lived in.  I can look out my front window and see my old house.  Somedays that brings me peace and other days not so much, but being able to be close to where we spent part of our childhood together allows me to still feel close to him.

P.S.  Also, for those who didn’t already know we did not buy this house because it was across the street from my childhood home it just happened that the house we fell in love with was across the street, I truly believe Larry and the universe knew that I needed to be exactly right here right now.

Larry’s Pick: The Impression That I Get

In the grand scheme of this year long project, this is a top 5 severely depressing song that sounds nothing like a depressing song. 

I'm trying to avoid publishing lyrics, especially for every Rush song, but I think it's critically important to provide the lyrics to this song. 

Because I am the one singing the song. And Shannon is the one I witnessed having a pain so heavy she collapsed.

Extremely early in morning of January 1st, 1997 the phone in our tiny little Columbus, Ohio apartment began ringing.  It was a two bedroom, with both bedrooms upstairs. We were in one bedroom, and our sons (one 28 months, the other 15 months) were in the other bedroom.

Shannon being the greatest mom of all time bolted downstairs to answer the phone, because again it was around 2:00am and she didn't want the boys to be woken up.

Within two minutes of answering the phone, I heard a scream that I will never forget. And never want to hear again.

I ran downstairs to find her collapsed on the floor, clutching the phone, in complete hysterics. 

I tried to understand what was going on. But I knew in that moment there was nothing I could do. And for someone with my personality to feel so powerless to help is one of the worst feelings I've ever had to this day.

Shannon's step-dad Chuck had called to share her brother Shane had been involved in a car accident in Kansas and had passed away. 

A little more than a month after the phone call, this song was released - February 10th, 1997. Unfortunately every single word in this song applies to us. And every time I hear it, it takes me back to that moment that I don't really want to re-live.

But Shannon does possess the strength that most don't have. 

Tonight was a pretty emotional night...

The Impression That I Get
Have you ever been close to tragedy
Or been close to folks who have?
Have you ever felt a pain so powerful
So heavy you collapse
No, well

I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

Have you ever had the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess?
Or has it ever come down to do or die?
You've got to rise above the rest
No, well

I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass
Look at the tested and think "There but for the grace go I"
Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out

Never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

I've never had to, but I better knock on wood
'Cause I know someone who has
Which makes wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've
Never had to, I'd better knock on wood
'Cause I'm sure it isn't good
And I'm glad I haven't yet
That's the impression that I get