If you or someone you know is in crisis call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (para ayuda en español, llame al 988). The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call 911 in life-threatening situations.
Shannon’s Perspective:
“Until later doesn't always come.”
I must admit my The Cure phase didn’t happen until much later in life, like in my 40’s, so I was not at all familiar with this song. It is incredibly moving and yes, having lost people in my own life and knowing all to well the regrets you can have when someone leaves your life suddenly, whether by suicide of not, it is a good reminder to remember later doesn’t always come.
Unless you are a hardcore fan of The Cure - I guarantee you have not heard this song. In all my years on this planet, I have never heard it played other than when I push play.
The title - Cut Here - is merely an anagram of The Cure. It's not a lyric in the song, and I suppose technically, it has nothing to do with the song. I've never come across any interviews where Robert Smith talks about the name, but once you read further and understand the meaning of the song, it's hard not to contemplate the significance.
Robert Smith wrote it as a tribute to his friend Billy Mackenzie, the lead singer of the new wave band Associates, who committed suicide in 1997. The story goes that he wrote it after hearing of Mackenzie’s tragic death soon after he had snubbed Mackenzie backstage after a Cure gig. His guilt at not taking the time to say hello to his old friend that last time is so vividly expressed in the song’s lyrics.
This song happened to come into my life at a time years ago when I was thinking very deeply about my relationship with Shannon - specifically the twists and turns in our lives that ultimately led us to each other. Literally the very first time I heard this song I jumped onto the internet to research it because I knew this was something very personal to Robert Smith. This wasn't a typical EMO Cure song. And I was right.
Shannon has already shared that when we met she was engaged. Over the years as Shannon and I really got to know each other better, she shared with me that prior to that engagement, there had been another individual that she dated that could have gone down that same path - engagement and marriage. But that did not happen because that individual tragically took his own life.
I've never had anyone I cared about commit suicide and I cannot even begin to weigh the emotional toll that takes on the individuals in their life. But Shannon has, and we've talked through her emotions and experience traveling that road.
I'm certainly not trying to minimize those thoughts and emotions, but when I think about the twists and turns that brought us together, that is a heavy realization to work through. Had that not happened, we would not have happened.
I referenced a quote from this song in my Rebel Girl write-up, but it's important to include a little more tonight:
But how many times can I walk away and wish, "If Only"?
How many times can I talk this way and wish, "If Only"?
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish "If Only", but "If Only" is a wish too late..."
Don't make your "If Only" a wish too late. "If Only" you played hooky from work to spend more quality time with your spouse / kids. "If Only" you called that long lost friend the second you think of doing it. "If Only" you'd slow dance with your wife to be there in the moment for her when she's facing the greatest challenge she's ever faced in her life...
Cut Here (The Cure)
So we meet again and I offer my hand
All dry and English slow
And you look at me and I understand
Yeah, it's a look I used to know
Three long years and your favourite man
Is that any way to say hello?
And you hold me
Like you'll never let me go
Like you'll never let me go
Oh, come on and have a drink with me
Sit down and talk a while
Oh, I wish I could and I will
But now I just don't have the time
And over my shoulder as I walk away
I see you give that look goodbye
I still see that look in your eye
So dizzy Mr. Busy, too much rush to talk to Billy
All the silly frilly things have to first get done
In a minute, sometime soon, maybe next time, make it June
Until later
Doesn't always come
Until later
Doesn't always come
It's so hard to think it ends sometime
And this could be the last
I should really hear you sing again
I should really watch you dance
Because it's hard to think I'll never get another chance
To hold you, to hold you
But chilly Mr. Dilly, too much rush to talk to Billy
All the tizzy fizzy idiot things must get done
In a second, just hang on, all in good time
Won't be long until later...
I should've stopped to think, I should've made the time
I could've had that drink, I could've talked a while
I would've done it right, I would've moved us on
But I didn't, now it's all too late
It's over and you're gone
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much
But how many times can I walk away and wish, if only?
How many times can I talk this way and wish, if only?
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish "If Only", but "If Only" is a wish too late
Written by: Robert James Smith, Jason Toop Cooper, Simon Gallup, Roger O'donnell, Perry Bamonte
Ghost of a Chance 