“When I leave, I don’t know what I’m hoping to find.”
I know this song/memory is more about Larry’s last day at work but this song has always been a favorite of mine for Rush because of the imagery it conjures up. Sometimes I think about my kids and their youth and sometimes I think about my own youth with my siblings but either way it brings me bittersweet memories of a simpler time.
As for Larry and his last day I know it was hard for him and I’m glad I was able to go back to Ohio and be there with him for that milestone.
Although the picture above portrays happiness and humor, this was a really, really tough day for me back in 2019.
How do you sum up 29 years at the same company? The place where you met your best friend for life. The place where you made so many other lifetime friends. The place where you made immature jackass mistakes and alternately had the proudest moments of your professional career.
You can't.
You can revisit The Garden for more perspective, but for now I'm just going to focus on these pictures and this song.
There are a lot of great things in this picture which was taken on my last day in the VSD DC5 Conference Room.
Two obscure but very notable things are present: Mountain Dew and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Normally, the person leaving gets a strawberry cake (which is also in the picture), but I was kind of known for my love of Mountain Dew, Krispy Kreme and Fritos. So with YE 2020 Net Sales of $12.914 Billion, they splurged a little extra for me. No Fritos, but I understand. There are shareholders to answer to...
I also have my arms crossed. I guess that was my "tell". My boss Cory, lower left corner, made me aware of it. To me, it was how I was best comfortable / relaxed. It wasn't confrontational and I was known to be pretty stoic - so to me it was how I demonstrated I was focused on the person speaking to me. That I was both listening and hearing. No one ever let me know it made them uncomfortable, and Cory wasn't calling anything out. He just made the observation, especially when my picture was being taken. Personally, I'm glad it was captured in this moment. As well as the team picture below.
Relative to everyone in the photo, I had a great relationship with all of them. Three are my peers and the rest were either my or their direct reports, and we are missing quite a few characters from the photo - mainly because we ran DC5 seven days a week, 24 hours a day. And whether this is hubris or arrogance or is actually true, I look at all those smiles and don't see "I'm smiling because I had to be here" or "I'm smiling because we're finally rid of this idiot" - I see "I'm smiling because we're having a good time, and we've always had a good time with Larry."
The photos below are Cory, myself and my direct reports at Victoria's Secret Direct. This is the team I'm most proud of - the best team I've ever been a part of in all my years.
Relative to the song, I was always one of those people who had a quote in their email auto-signature. As I made my decision to leave Lbrands and head to Kansas, lines from this song played over and over and over in my head leading up to my departure:
Too many hands on my time Too many feelings Too many things on my mind When I leave I don't know What I'm hoping to find When I leave I don't know What I'm leaving behind...
I was not only saying goodbye to great people and a career - I was saying goodbye to the physical place I met my wife. I was saying goodbye to my two grown sons. I was saying goodbye to Ohio where I had lived my whole life.
There was a lot going on. Every year on September 5th I spend a few quiet moments reflecting and appreciating. Today marks five years since I walked away from my corporate life and as funny as it sounds, it seem like a lifetime ago...
The Analog Kid Music by Lee and Lifeson / Lyrics by Peart
A hot and windy August afternoon Has the trees in constant motion With a flash of silver leaves As they're rocking in the breeze
The boy lies in the grass with one blade Stuck between his teeth A vague sensation quickens In his young and restless heart And a bright and nameless vision Has him longing to depart
You move me You move me With your buildings and your eyes Autumn woods and winter skies You move me You move me Open sea and city lights Busy streets and dizzy heights You call me You call me
The fawn-eyed girl with sun-browned legs Dances on the edge of his dream And her voice rings in his ears Like the music of the spheres
The boy lies in the grass, unmoving Staring at the sky His mother starts to call him As a hawk goes soaring by And the boy pulls down his baseball cap And covers up his eyes
You move me You move me With your buildings and your eyes Autumn woods and winter skies You move me You move me Open sea and city lights Busy streets and dizzy heights You call me You call me
Too many hands on my time Too many feelings Too many things on my mind
When I leave I don't know What I'm hoping to find When I leave I don't know What I'm leaving behind...
When I leave I don't know What I'm hoping to find and When I leave I don't know What I'm leaving behind...
Rest In Peace, Neil Peart - 09/12/1952 - 01/07/2020
Ghost of a Chance 