Well folks, we're nearing the end. Not long now until the final entry on February 19th, 2025. The last major theme to close us out revolves around the Passing of Time. If the first few months of this project were tough, they're actually a cakewalk compared to what we're about to go through. We're getting old and life perspectives are changing as they should - AKA we're closer to dying than when we were born. Some of these songs represent the heaviest weights that we've carried since knowing them. Some are as recent as 2023 and 2024, but I know in my heart of hearts that even if they came out in 1989 they would have made this list - they are that profound to me.
So if you're an artist that made this project from here on out you should feel humble and proud...you achieved what you set out to do...make music that people feel and love...thank you.
Remember a while ago I referenced an event I dubbed "Deviation Zero" in Headlong Flight?
Well this letter is it.
During my Junior year of High School I made the decision that I wanted to join the military - specifically the Army. I had gone and taken the ASVAB and once I passed that, I was scheduled for a physical.
That's where it all fell apart.
I grew up with both allergies and asthma. I went weekly for allergy shots and had an inhaler. On top of that, my vision, well here's a visual to show how well that was - and is:
Bubbles – Not Actually Me
So if you were the United States Army and an applicant had all of those afflictions, would you let them join? In 1988, no way in hell. In 2025 even though I'm 54 and have a few new old age problems on top of my younger problems, I'm sure I could get a signing bonus and they'd find a place for me. Logistics, I suspect.
At that moment in time, it was pretty devastating. That's a pretty serious decision to make at such a young age and then to be basically told no - I was lost.
In hindsight, maybe the thought that even with those afflictions I might have a chance of joining shows a little bit of immaturity. But it's what I wanted to do and I'd rather go through life knowing I tried.
So for today's song - it really doesn't have anything specific to do with the rejection, but it does take me back to that time period. 1988. Living at 974 S Old 3C Hwy. My room upstairs that was small and dominated by a slanting roofline / ceiling so it was pretty awkward.
It comes off of a PSB album titled Introspective that when it came out later that year, I was obsessed with. Again, it was 1988 so no World Wide Web and I didn't buy all the pop magazines my sister did. So it was hard to come by interviews to try and understand the mindset behind the songs. For whatever reason, this one always pulled me in.
Nowadays I suspect I know the hidden meaning behind the lyrics - which I'm 100% ok with and support.
Deviation Zero?
What if I had been accepted to join the Army? Would I have ever met Shannon? Would our sons exist? Would I be writing this entry? Sure there are a lot of little things in life that might have caused a deviation in our path meeting - but this is a pretty big one. And as of this publication, I cannot think of anything as big any earlier in my life that might have set me on a different course.
I love to think about these types of things - the "what ifs?". I suppose it's my ADHD thought process at work.
This is also a reason I honor and support anyone who has ever served in any branch, including you Space Force! Just know that there are those of us who would have liked to serve, but were unable to...
P.S. That's Bubbles, not me. But I'm sure Kim would say it's pretty damn close...at least my Freshman and Sophomore years...
Shannon’s Perspective:
Where do we have to be so I can laugh and you'll be free?
On January 1, 2025 while reading Larry’s write up for Headlong Flight and his reference of destination zero/patient zero and how we might not have met and how that goes against his string theory, I had a memory come like a bolt from the blue and made myself a note to reference the memory when the deviation zero write up came about. So the following is that memory:
I remember Gabriel being in HS and we lived on Longleaf Street in Pickerington, Ohio. For some reason we were discussing some of my past relationships and I said something about well it is a good thing that happened or I wouldn't have met your dad and you and your brother would not be here. His response? "You guys would have found each other because you are perfect for each other." What a beautiful sentiment but not one that you necessarily think a teenage boy would have but even he knew that his dad and I were meant to be.
P.S. Also on January 1, 2025 I came across a Xmas card from 1998 or 1999 from our very own WordPress famous and my BFF Kim telling me how much Larry and I compliment each other and how happy she was to be a part of our lives. So it wasn't just our son who saw our connection.
BFF Kim Xmas Card 001BFF Kim Xmas Card 002
I'm Not Scared Pet Shop Boys
Your life's a mystery, mine is an open book If I could read your mind, I think I'd take a look I don't care, baby, I'm not scared
What have you got to fight? What do you need to prove? You're always telling lies and that's the only truth I don't care, baby, I'm not scared
Tonight the streets are full of actors I don't know why Oh, take these dogs away from me Before they, they bite
What have you got to say of shadows in your past? I thought that if you paid, you'd keep them off our backs But I don't care, baby, I'm not scared
What have you got to hide? Who will it compromise? Where do we have to be so I can laugh and you'll be free? I'd go anywhere, baby, I don't care I'm not scared
I don't care, baby, I'm not scared
Tonight the streets are full of actors I don't know why Oh, take these dogs away from me Before they, they bite
Tonight I thought I'd made my mind up I know it's right I know these dogs still snap around us But I can, I can fight
If I was you, if I was you I wouldn't treat me the way you do If I was you, if I was you I wouldn't treat me the way you do, you
If I was you, if I was you I wouldn't treat me the way you do If I was you, if I was you I wouldn't treat me the way you do, you
I'm not scared, baby, I don't care I'd go anywhere, baby, I'm not scared I'm not scared, no, I'm not scared
Ghost of a Chance 