Shannon’s Perspective:
Who can face the knowledge
That the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete
Absolutely
I'm going to take some extreme liberties with my interpretation of the above lyrics in my write up so you have been forewarned.
But before that let's discuss this song in just general terms as it applies specifically to Larry and I. He has been for quite some time quoting the following lyrics at me...
The world weighs on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy-
But I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you're going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg-
And I worry about you...
And I always took them for what they were worth depending on if he was being serious or sarcastic in the moment and I'm sure I will continue doing that because I do not see an end to him quoting music lyrics to me, nor would I want him to.
So now back to my interpretation of these lyrics...
Who can face the knowledge
That the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete - Absolutely
I read Larry's write up before writing mine, at his suggestion due to the content of his writeup, and really allowed myself to let what he wrote sink in for a little bit. What I came away with was I am currently facing the knowledge that the truth is not the truth. The truth being the bad things that I believe about myself verses the truth or the things that the people who care about me think. Yes, I do/did in fact feel as if I am weak when in reality I am realizing I'm not. I have told many people that I care for in my life that if i had a superpower I would want it to be for them to see themselves the way that the people who love them see them, I guess its time for me to use that superpower on myself.
I've labeled this as a Second Time Around song based on what it meant versus what it means.
This album came out in 1984 before I had discovered Rush a few years later in High School. When I did discover them, I devoured their back catalog so this album is among my first Rush discoveries.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to listen to this album and understand the general theme of the Cold War as well as wars in general (WWII, the wars we wage on ourselves, etc.) So with my love of history and oh, I don't know, actually living through the Cold War, this album grabbed hold.
Let's break down this song historically. Did you know that this is what he means by Distant Early Warning? The DEW Line? Did you know that this is what he means by "There's no swimming in the heavy water"? Everything else should be pretty self explanatory referencing the "Reds" (The Soviet Union or U.S.S.R. - now called Russia).
Red Alert - Watch out for those communists!
Who can face the knowledge - That the truth is not the truth? - The Soviet propaganda machine AND/OR the American media machine.
You get it. That's what it meant to me for many, many years. Just reflecting on the actual world I grew up in all wrapped up in a Rush song.
So then it's 1992, I'm a full blown Rush nerd by this point and into my life walks Shannon. With tragedies constantly hitting her that literally started before she was even born that continue to this day.
That all may sound like hyperbole, but picture this:
- Imagine your biological father is killed before you are even born
- Imagine your mom drifts from marriage to marriage producing siblings that you basically become the defacto mother of at a very young age
- Imagine you live in an abusive household
- Imagine you fall into a life of self-harm
- Imagine your cousin being murdered
- Imagine your closest brother being killed in an automobile accident
- Imagine all the additional family losses that happen throughout your lifetime
- Imagine being diagnosed with a debilitating affliction that has no known cause and therefore cannot be treated, and even if a cause is discovered, there pretty much isn't any treatment even available.
That is life for Shannon. Not only have I said it several times directly to her, but I also recently wrote about it - that she is the strongest person I know. Her response was incredulous to me in that she believes she is so weak.
After all of the above, I cannot fathom her thinking that. Can you imagine all those things happening to you? And what strength you have to possess to keep going?
So it's this line that took on a whole new meaning when I met Shannon and throughout our 30 plus years together:
But I see the tip of the iceberg and I worry about you...
If you're not familiar with the phrase "tip of the iceberg" consider this - only ~1/10th of an iceberg is above water; so ~9/10ths is underwater - unseen - a hidden danger.
In her case for many, many years she would only show me the tip of her emotional iceberg. But I knew that in her Secret Wells Of Emotion buried deep in her heart, there was so much more that needed to see the light of day.
Yes over the past 30 plus years we have both chipped away at each other's Walls, but it feels like this past year with this project as well as her Ketamine treatments not only has it cracked and crumbled, but there are actual breaches.
I'm proud of both of us - because it truly has been a long, hard fought road we have traveled together. For the most part, I'd like to say my work here is done. There is definitely some relief that has happened for our 30th Anniversary. Except there is more work to do, so we'll both "just keep swimming" and "keep going" through our hell. After all, the way out is the way in...
Distant Early Warning
Music by Lee and Lifeson / Lyrics by Peart
An ill wind comes arising
Across the cities of the plain
There's no swimming in the heavy water
No singing in the acid rain
Red alert, Red alert
It's so hard to stay together
Passing through revolving doors
We need someone to talk to
And someone to sweep the floors
Incomplete, Incomplete
The world weighs on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy
But I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you're going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you...
Cruising under your radar
Watching from the satellites
Take a page from the red book
Keep them in your sights
Red alert, Red alert
Left and rights of passage
Black and whites of youth
Who can face the knowledge
That the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete - Absolutely
The world weighs on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy
While I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you're going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you...
The world weighs on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy
While I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you're going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you...
Absalom, Absalom, Absalom
30th Anniversary
Our Story - Shannon's Perspective
Our Story - Larry's Perspective
Ghost of a Chance (Rush) and why?
Ghost of a Chance 