“Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm gettin' older, too"
This song has been around for almost my whole life, it came out in 1975 and I was born in 1971, so I’ve heard this song more times than I can count. I’ve always enjoyed it and it’s always gotten an emotional response but it made the list because of a life event on November 30, 2019. That was one of the hardest days of my life. That is the day we left our house in Pickerington for good. Back in April of that same year I had moved to Kansas, Larry stayed behind in Ohio.
In the beginning, we had no idea how long we would live with Larry in Ohio and me in Kansas but eventually we got our plan figured out. Part of that plan included Connor, our youngest son, finishing his last year of college and Larry getting both of our sons moved out and into their first places, both of those things I had to miss out on. So, when I went back in November of 2019 to help Larry move the rest of our things out, I got to see their apartments for the first time. We also had the boys and Kristen over for one last dinner together on the 29th. I’m not too proud to admit I had a complete breakdown when they left that night. The reality of the 4 of us no longer living in the same house was settling in and by the time we pulled the truck and trailer out of the driveway and hit the road the next morning I could no longer avoid the obvious, we were all headed on different paths and my children were all grown up.
It has been five years now and I’m happy to report I’ve adjusted to life without my kids still living with me although we did convince Gabriel to move to Kansas as well so that helps. Now if I could just get Connor and Kristen to move.
Of course being a music person, I created a playlist to listen to as I pulled out of my driveway in Ohio for the last time. This was song number one, and it was all downhill from here - pun intended.
Let's start with Stevie's perspective which I already knew, but it was easier to copy in some Wikipedia notes:
Nicks wrote the song while visiting Aspen, Colorado, sitting in someone's living room "looking out at the Rocky Mountains pondering the avalanche of everything that had come crashing down on us ... at that moment, my life truly felt like a landslide in many ways."
While I was excited to leave Lbrands and Ohio humidity behind, at the time I was leaving everything personal as well.
I had grown up here. All my friends were here. My two sons and soon to be daughter-in-law were here. In a lot of ways it truly felt like I was the one causing this landslide. Honestly - I was. I had encouraged Shannon to apply for her Kansas job which she got - so that set our plan into motion well before we were actually prepared to go through with it.
I had spent September, October and November 2019 moving things out to Kansas, selling things, moving sons out to their first apartments, repainting an entire house, getting new carpet installed. So in some ways that final night felt kind of strange because it wasn't exactly the house we remembered.
But it was our home. To so many fantastic memories. We had some Donato's pizza and sat around talking about a lot of those memories as well as the adventures to come. I had built my life around them. That's what I miss the most.
Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too
And right after I leave a fucking worldwide pandemics hits so I truly feel like I abandoned them.
I suppose it is my old age getting to me and nostalgia creeping in - but in that moment five years ago today in 2019, it was pretty tough.
Landslide Fleetwood Mac I took my love, I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 'Til the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too Oh! I'm getting older too
Oh-oh, take my love, take it down Oh-oh, climb a mountain and you turn around And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills Well, the landslide bring it down And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills Well, the landslide bring it down Oh-ohh, the landslide bring it down
Ghost of a Chance 