“I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up.”
I originally added this to a song memory list Larry and I were working at the time, so for this write up I’m including the note I put with this song. After I hear what Larry has written I may decide to add to it.
SB 2017-12-11 This is the song I was listening to when you called, and I said I was thinking of you but not only was I thinking of you I was also thinking about your comment recently about me not getting emotional listening to songs.
So this song is an example of a song that makes me very emotional. The song is about the death of Ed Sheeran's grandfather and is just a good song and an emotional song to begin with, in my opinion, but it goes even deeper than that for me.
It makes me emotional from two different perspectives. The first is the chorus:
Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night And we'll lie inside for a little while here, oh I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up And we're wrapped in light and life and love Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut For they're designed to be together, oh With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one And we're set alight, we're afire love Oh love
Obviously makes me think about you and I, but more specifically it makes me remember those moments in the past where we have stayed up all night talking and just being together physically and mentally and it makes me look forward to the times we will have like that again.
The rest of the song makes me think about when you and I are both gone. When the boys go through all of our stuff, like all families do, and they come across our playlists and liner notes to each other, they will hopefully be at an age and point in their lives when they will truly and fully appreciate the deep and unbreakable love their mother and father had for each other. Of all the things I wish for them, the most important is the wish that they will find someone that they love as much as I love you and that loves them as much as you love me.
Larry’s Perspective:
First some housekeeping. As we really got into the groove of this project and decided to put songs into themes, Shannon thought it might be a good idea to alternate - so one month is funny, the next serious. One bright, next dark. You get it. I thought that was a great idea. Until now. Since April was "Release The Sarcasm!", we had chosen May to be "Secret Wells of Emotion". Now that we're in May - this is going to suck so bad. These will be some pretty heavy songs. And the (beauty?) of some of these is that you don't have to be part of our inner circle for them to relate to you or your life experiences. If you pay attention to the lyrics. So without further ado...
When Shannon gave me this song years ago, I had never heard it - or Ed Sheeran for that matter. It had a lot of unintended consequences that I'm sure she's come to suspect some, but not all. And tonight I will lay it all out there.
This song hits like a ton of bricks, and then it hits again, and then again.
In the most sincere way, I share that I have a poor memory capability. I honestly do not recall a lot of my life - and it has always been this way, so this is not just an old age thing. Over the years, Shannon has been repeatedly shocked and stated "you don't remember that?" - whether it was something between us, or my childhood, or whatever, it just isn't there. That isn't to say I don't have any memories - but what that means is the precious few I do have are extremely valuable to me.
So line two " And then the devil took your memory" is the first hit of bricks. And this is an old age thing. I dread knowing the time will come when I can't even recall those precious few that I do have. And that is devastating to someone who has so few to begin with. Neil Peart once penned a lyric in the song "Losing It" that goes "Sadder still to watch it die - Than never to have known it" and Shannon and I have debated the virtues of this statement many, many times. Including in our present day life. If a health condition that's now suddenly robbing someone who has always had a great memory, of their ability to remember ("Sadder still to watch it die") versus repeated statements of "you don't remember that?" as death by a thousand cuts ("Than never to have known it" - that is, never even having memories to forget in the first place).
So which of those two is worse? "Sadder still to watch it die"? Or "Than never to have known it"?
The next ton of bricks surrounds my maternal grandmother, Helen. She is a part of those precious few I have, and she experienced Alzheimer's / Dementia. I can vividly recall driving alone to see her in the care facility she was in. And before I could even go inside I sat in my car and lost it for about twenty minutes. Because my heart was breaking, for her, for me, for our entire family. I wasn't ready to deal with it, but I needed to see her and say goodbye. So the lyrics "It's not his fault he doesn't know your face - And you're not the only one" takes me right back to that moment.
The final ton of bricks are the lyrics "But then the devil took your breath away - And now we're left here in the pain". Even more vividly I can recall the moment my mom called to tell me she was gone. I was on my way to work, it was dark, I know the exact GPS spot where I was and that I almost crashed I was sobbing so much. I knew there was nothing I could do, so I tried to proceed with a "normal" work day, but I couldn't do it. It was one of the very few days I left work in my entire career. And one of my precious memories is that one of my direct reports made a donation in my grandmother's honor. Much like Forrest Gump says: "I'm not a smart man - but I know what love is"; this author says "I may have a shitty memory - but you don't forget something like that".
THIS MONTHS THEME IS GOING TO SUCK SO BAD! GOOD THING THIS POST CAME OUT YESTERDAY! AT LEAST I KNOW MY LOCAL COUNTY HOSPITAL IS PREPARED TO DEAL WITH ALL OUR MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS!
SHEESH BRING ON THE PALATE CLEANSER!
So I have to share that one time I had to pick my grandma up and bring her to Columbus, so maybe an hour and a half drive. We had a great time visiting, but the best thing was I was playing nothing but Frank Sinatra songs via CD. She proceeded to mention to me that this was one of the best radio stations she had ever heard because A) it was all Sinatra, and B) there were no commercials. Once I explained what was happening, we laughed and laughed.
And finally - Shannon. The true intended sentiment of this song that Shannon felt the need to share with me is never, ever lost on me. And that is what lifts me up everytime I hear this song. I always travel to some pretty dark places, but she pulls me right back into the light and sets my love afire...
Afire Love Ed Sheeran
[Verse 1] Things were all good yesterday And then the devil took your memory And if you fell to your death today I hope that heaven is your resting place I heard the doctors put your chest in pain But then that could've been the medicine And now you're lying in the bed again Either way I'll cry with the rest of them
[Pre-Chorus] And my father told me "son It's not his fault he doesn't know your face And you're not the only one" Although my grandma used to say that he used to sing
[Chorus] Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night And we'll lie inside for a little while here, oh I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up And we're wrapped in light and life and love Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut For they're designed to be together, oh With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one And we're set alight, we're afire love Oh love
[Verse 2] And things were all good yesterday But then the devil took your breath away And now we're left here in the pain Black suit, black tie, standing in the rain And now my family is one again Stapled together with the strangers and a friend Came to my mind, I should paint it with a pen Six years old, I remember when
[Pre-Chorus] And my father told me "son It's not his fault he doesn't know your face And you're not the only one" Although my grandma used to say that he used to sing
[Chorus] Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night And we'll lie inside for a little while here, oh I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up And we're wrapped in light and life and love Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut For they're designed to be together, oh With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one And we're set alight, we're afire love Oh love
[Bridge] And my father and all of my family Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah And my mother and all of my family Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah And my brother and all of my family Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah And my father and all of my family Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah
Ghost of a Chance 