“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.”
Five years ago on this date, April 10,2019, I walked out of LBrands for the last time. A company I spent 27 years of my life with. A company that for all intents and purposes not only put me on the path to my husband but allowed the both of us to provide for the family we created. So, leaving for that last time was very bittersweet, but how to best incapsulate that experience, those 27 years? Well, by using the very movie the quote above comes from. Why, you ask? Well because not only is The Shawshank Redemption so full of amazing quotes that I relate to my time there, but it also just seemed appropriate since the whole purpose of leaving that job was to move back to my hometown in Kansas. If you have not seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It is easily on my top 10 list of favorite movies of all time. . (Spoiler alert I will be using several quotes during my write up.)
Red : These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.
Heywood : Shit. I could never get like that.
Ernie : Oh yeah? Say that when you been here as long as Brooks has.
Red : Goddamn right. They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyway.
That my friends is what life in corporate America can feel like to someone like me. At first, it’s just a temporary job, next thing you know a decade has gone by and things aren’t so bad so you stay, its comfortable, but then you realize its been almost three decades now and maybe it’s time to finally leave. Then the day comes to leave, and you realize you gave your life, or at least the part of your life that counts, to something that never really gave a shit about you. Talk about bittersweet.
But don’t you think that it was all bad because it wasn’t I met some amazing people, some of whom I still stay in touch with, and we had some crazy fun times. But so did the inmates at Shawshank. Much like those inmates, me and my merry band of co-workers always found ways to entertain ourselves. One of those ways was eerily familiar with a scene from the movie. In the movie they bring in the new inmates and the OG’s are taking bets on who would be the first to break. My friends and I would do a similar thing when new hires were brought in for the holiday season. As they would take them on a tour around the building on their first day, we would instantly be able to tell who wasn’t coming back. Side note coming back does not only mean they wouldn’t come back the next day some of them wouldn’t even come back after their first break. It was fun for us and a way to make the time pass. Anything to make the time pass.
On the days it was particularly difficult to get through, just like Andy I had my music. I was very lucky to work in departments where I could wear headphones and listen to music as much as I wanted. Trust me when I say not only was that a benefit for me, but some days it was a benefit for my co-workers.
Andy Dufresne : That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red : I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne : Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red : Forget?
Andy Dufresne : Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red : What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne : Hope.
Red : Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.
Most of the time people came and went, sometimes I’d move to a new department and find myself in a new group, but every once and a while you would find yourself surrounded with some pretty amazing people and when the time came for someone to leave that group it always hit a little bit differently.
Red : Sometimes it makes me sad, though... Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
For those of you that have never had the chance to spend part of your career in corporate America there are a lot of rules, regulations and protocols. One of those protocols is an exit interview. This is supposed to be where an HR rep asks you why you are leaving and what your time was like there. At this particular time, I had the epitome of a Corporate HR lackey and I did not care for her but I had to play nice, well at least while I was still employed. I had every intention of going in and using the following quote from Shawshank but alas I decided to play nice-ish, meaning I was honest about my feelings without being an a-hole. But I still sometimes wish I would have gone the other way.
Red : I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?
1967 Parole Hearings Man : Well, are you?
Red : There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone, and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.
So why this song in particular? The scene in the movie where this song is played is a critical scene in which Andy makes a choice to play this song over the intercom in the yard for all the inmates to hear and then he disobeys an order and not only continues to play the music but defiantly play it louder. I believe Larry has mentioned work Shannon being pretty much the same pain in the ass as regular Shannon, so I relate to that. I tried to stand up for fellow coworkers when they were getting screwed over and tried to bring some fun and levity to the job. I could be heard telling people during our busiest time of the year when everyone was stressed out…”Hey we’re not curing cancer here people it’s bras and bubble bath if it doesn’t make it to the store on time no one is gonna die.”
Red : I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.
But in the end when I looked behind me for one last time, I knew that this was the end of that chapter but the beginning of a whole new one and I was ready to get busy living.
Red : I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
Larry’s Perspective:
In all reality, Shannon left "Shawshank Columbus, Ohio" for "Zihuatanejo Saint Francis, Kansas".
Let that sink in.
I'm honestly not sure which is worse...
Ghost of a Chance 